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A loud knocking at her door startled Niami DenMother just as she was pulling a souffle from the oven. Unable to control her start of surprise, she bumped the pan against the side of the oven, and watched her light, fluffy, beautiful souffle go flat.

"Och!" With an exasperated sigh, she set the culinary flop on a countertop, then reached for the rolling pin that sat in an odd sheath at her hip. "Jus' a moment!" The only people that ever seemed to knock at her door this early in the morning happened to be her least-favorite people.

"If this be those accursed salesgnomes again, I may jus' teach them a thing or twa'!" With that, the tiny halfling lady gripped the rolling pin in one hand and stomped towards the door, her bare feet making solid slapping noises on the well-polished wooden floor.

She yanked the door open, "Frae th' las' time ... Och."

"Ummm ... hi Mum. Did I catch you at a bad time? I'm really sorry if I did, but I thought you'd want to hear the news first, and have a chance to be the first to make it, and you've been such a hermit lately, and this would be the perfect chance to get out and enjoy the sun and have an adventure and maybe even play a prank or two, and I hope you're not mad at me!"

Niami blinked bemusedly at the babbling, leather-clad halfling lass for several long moments, trying to parse not only what she was saying, but who she was. Something about her seemed familiar ...

"Fennory, isn't it? Why, look at ye, all grown up! Ye take after yuir mother, I see!"

The Flitterbidgets were distant cousins of hers, most of them just as flighty as their surname, that had taken to calling her "Mum" -- they never could keep the whole "third cousin twice removed" and suchforths straight! Pity that Fenn seemed to have taken after them with the ditzy babble. She'd been such a promising young child.

Taking a deep breath, Fenn flashed her a grin. "Sorry for running on so, but I ported here as fast as I could once I had this in my hands, and I'm so excited ..."

Finally, the earlier "first to make it" comment from earlier sank in. "A new recipe?" Eagerly, Mum started to reach for the waving piece of parchment, before she remembered that she was still holding her rolling pin in a clenched fist. Sheepishly, she holstered it with a mumbled, "Doggone salesgnomes have been at it again."

Much as she wanted to snatch the waving piece of parchment out of Fenn's hand, there were niceties to observe with guests, even when they were distant relatives. "Come in, lass, an' join me frae a morning snack, will ye? I have some fresh tarts that should be cool enow tae eat now."

Leading Fenn to the table in the kitchen, Mum casually dropped a cotton towel over the pitiful sight of the flattened souffle. As she arranged several fresh berry tarts on a plate, she tried to keep her voice casual, "What news, lass? An' th' first to make what?"

Thankfully, Fenn's run-on sentences were a bit easier to sort out when the young woman was distracted by tarts, but Mum's eyes were still about ready to cross by the time she had the recipe in her eager little hands.

"Time travel, ye say? An' some fella split into several selves? That seems an odd sort o' thing! What will those biguns think of next?"

"Mercenaries?! Hmph! I gave up my adventuring days, so that's o' little interest tae me ... unless this needs summat exotic frae ingredients ...

"Now, let's take a closer look at this recipe. Hmmm. Timeless Hunter's Sausage. I've plenty o' lion and gator meat. I may need tae get a wee bit o' bear meat, though. Simple sausage casing, coarse salt. Nae problems there. I may have tae buy a bit o' fennel, as mine's getting a bit fusty-smelling. Ground pepper, onion."

"Chronal resonance dust? Ne'er heard o' it. Did th' man who sold ye this recipe tell ye where tae get it, lass?"

"Mmmmhmmm!" Fennory quickly swallowed the last bite of her fourth tart. "He said some sort of mumbo-jumbo about time traveling, and something about how some of the residents in these places we could visit react oddly to our presence due to the difference in times or something." She waved a hand vaguely. "Long and short of it is that if we hunt stuff there, we have a chance of nice little piles of dust that are supposed to make this sausage taste absolutely divine."

"We, eh?" Mum was about to voice several objections, as she was happy being just a homebody these days, but Fenn didn't let her get in another word edgewise, for fear that word would be "No".

"Oh Mum, don't you see, these mercenaries would be perfect to help out, and maybe we could get a discount if we offered them a home-cooked meal after, and there's this really cute barbarian warrior with them, and oh, I do so want to see these new places with my own eyes, but Mother won't let me go by myself, and you'd think I was still in my tweens or something, and oh, pleasepleaseohplease, won't you go with me? It'd be ever so much fun, and just think of being able to make this nummy sausage. And Mother also says you haven't been on an adventure in ever-so-long, and that Bristlebane may disown you if you don't get out and prank a bit, and don't you think that this would be the perfect opportunity with a fresh audience, and -"

"Hush, lass. Let me think frae a moment." Tapping the edge of the recipe parchment against her cheek, Mum paced for a couple moments, weighing pros and cons. It had been a very long time since she'd been out much, and she had one prank that she'd been planning on trying on the next salesgnome that could be used in this case instead. What harm could a cleric and a druid get into with a couple strapping warriors along as bodyguards, anyway?

"All right, lass. Can ye clean up some o' these dishes frae me while I get intae my armor an' pack some provisions?"

Her old armor turned out to be a bit of a snug fit, as she'd been sedentary too long, but with a bit of wriggling, shimmying, grumbling and inhaling, she finally got everything into place. Barely.

Ample amounts of her famous trail mix, as well as some Misty Thicket Picnics and other goodies were crammed into packs, along with a mysterious brightly-wrapped tin that smelled like ... fresh chocolate chip cookies.

"Whate'er ye do, lass, don't open th' red tin, ok? It be frae emergencies."

Afire with curiousity, Fenn nevertheless obediently nodded. She didn't want to do anything to make Mum change her mind before they were safely on their way, hunky barbarian mercenary in tow...

By mid-morning, they were haggling over mercenary rates in the Plane of Knowledge. Copious baked goods, and offers of home-cooked dinners worked well, and Fennory got her "hunky barbarian tank", Joran. Mum, on the other hand, got Dynora ... a trolless ... and not the smartest of ladies, even when compared to other trolls. She did, however, look nice and imposing in her armor, and presumably knew how to use those two swords that she kept waving around. A quick side-trip for some bear-bashing proved that she did, more or less, though Mum was glad that the meat was going to be used for sausage, after seeing how hacked up it was.

Nobody ever said trolls were tidy killers.

And they were off, at last, to the Plane of Time. Once restricted to more elite adventurers, it was a bit more permissive now that access to the Void had been opened up.

The Void itself was a tad disconcerting, as was the means of travel from there to times long gone.

"Ye need tae eat a bit more, tallstuff! Ye're too scrawny!"

"Och! Are ye sure these things are safe?"

And they were off on their grand adventure.

Mum had forgotten how much fun it could be to explore new places, and see new creatures. Of course, there were a few tense moments, such as when she was so distracted by the sight of a huge number of dragons on the horizon that she sort of forgot to cast her healing spells on the two tanks. But that was what having a druid along was for, right? And her emergency heals worked just fine, if at the last possible moment, right?

Nobody was hurt ... much, and everything healed up just fine.

Mum decided that was a good time to break out the trail mix to soothe ruffled feathers, while she took a closer look at the dragons.

As long as nobody mentioned to Gorenaire what happened during their last meeting in the distant future of Mum's own time, all should be well, right?

She'd noticed that Dynora seemed to look a little greener when the dragons mentioned fighting iksar, but she couldn't be sure, given the trolless's natural green complexion.

Minutes later, she had her answer, when they stumbled upon a lone iksar. Dynora wasn't turning green. She was yellow, through and through.

The two lovebirds weren't much help, as they'd just gone to a nearby stream to refill canteens with fresh water, so it was up to Mum to deal with the spellcaster, and her frightened hireling.

Letting out a loud yaulp, she bared her teeth and aimed her mace at the iksar's kneecap. "Dynora, get o'er here an' help! Ye cannae be scared o' a single lizard in a dress, can ye?"

"Y-y-yesss."

"Pshaw. Bristlebane, don't fail me now!" Casting a quick stun spell, she ducked behind the bemused iksar, tweaked his tail, then rapped him soundly on the hip. As he spun to face her again, she bellowed. "No cookies for ye!"

"Cookies?! MY cookies!!" With a roar, Dynora drew her swords and lunged at the iksar. "NO cookies! MY cookies! Me's wants cookies an' yews can't hab anny!"

Alerted by the racket, Joran and Fenn returned. The barbarian was chewing quickly on something as he drew his own weapons, only to realize that the enemy was already dead, and in many pieces.

"Och, ye dinnae ..."

"More!" Dynora's wail cut off anything else Mum was going to say.

"Really, lass, there's no reason tae be afraid o' a single iksar. There be four o' us now, an' ... och!"

That was a lot more than four iksar! Thankfully, they hadn't seen the hacked corpse of their fallen comrade ... yet.

"Quick! Th' wrapped tin!" Mum held out her hand for it while watching the nearest iksar.

Tsking in dismay as the tin was handed to her, minus the bright wrapping, she rolled her eyes at Fenn's comment of "But it was an emergency! He was hungry!"

"Prep an evac spell, lass, an' be quick. This is going tae be messy!"

Joren tried to look brawny and imposing as he stood guard in front of Fenn as she began to cast, but a truly hideous sound coming from his innards rather ruined the effect.

Smiling brightly, Mum ignored the sounds and removed the lid from the tin, murmuring a quick pacification spell as she waved the tin of cookies in front of the iksar, making their heads bob back and forth as they followed the path of the yummy-smelling tin. "Cooooooookiesssss .... yum!" Setting down the tin, she backed towards her party, even as Dynora took a half-step forward towards the tin, then jumped back as the nearest iksar glared at her.

"NOW!

"Phhhhhrrrrrrrrpppppffffffffppppp."

"Ewwww!

"Let's get a bit upwind o' Joren frae a bit, shall we? Joren-lad, ye jus' sit there in the bushes frae a bit until yuir innards settle down, all right? Th' effects o' a single cookie on a big, strapping lad like ye shouldn't last too long. Twas meant frae scrawny salesgnomes, after all."

"Three .... unnggggghhhhh."

"Ooooh, dat was a ripe one! Me'z wantz cookiez tew, sew I'z can winz farting contests!"

Shaking her head at the large trolless, Mum then turned to look at Fennory.

"Well, lass, looks like a bit o' th' prank is on ye. Methinks yuir handsome hunk is going tae be indisposed frae a bit. I told ye nae tae open that tin!"

Torn between embarassment and irritation, Fennory opened her mouth to say something, just as another round of rude noises came from the bushes. While the trolless cheered on the embarrassed barbarian, the two halflings simply sat down and started to giggle, then laugh.

"Ye know, Fen-lass, we saw some pretty impressive sights today, an' had some fun adventures. I don't think we'll be able tae make, then eat, that sausage, though, withoot breaking intae a fit o'giggles now."

"I suspect you're right, Mum. And I doubt Joren will ever want to try halfling cooking again. Pity. He did look so yummy in a kilt ..."

Of course, there's far, far more to the newest EQ expansion, Seeds of Destruction, than just a sausage recipe, or the interesting eye-candy. (You'll find a bit of discussion has been going on in this thread ever since the NDA was lifted. Hopefully, however, I've managed to add a bit of lighthearted humor to expansion day, to amuse and distract you as you wait for software to patch, servers to stabilize, and all that fun stuff.

Full patch notes will be linked in later. (Edit: Patch Notes here.) Meanwhile, here are a few more images from Mum's mini romp through the new zones.